Finding Happiness in the Small Things: A Journey of Simple Changes

Happiness:

1. Good luck; good fortune; prosperity.

2. An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or propitious happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which is attended with enjoyment; the state of being happy; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I’ve always chased something—believing it would make me happy. Growing up without much, I thought a new car, a new phone, or some other item would finally bring that feeling. And for a moment, it did. I worked hard to earn items that I thought I needed, and when I had them I did enjoy them, but only briefly. Soon, the excitement wore off, and I was after the next thing. This was an ongoing cycle and I eventually realized I was frustrated and drained. Over time, I realized that no material thing was ever going to bring me true happiness. I had to find it within myself.

I’ve worked hard to get here, and I’m still pushing forward. For the first time in my adult life, I feel real happiness. At first, this felt strange because I had never felt this way for so long. Looking back, I realize I had many struggles to overcome to get here, and my mental health conditions have been my biggest challenges—always lingering in the background. I may never completely overcome it, but I hope I do. Until then, I’ve learned how to manage it. I take medication now, and I see it as a tool that helps me stay clear-headed and in control. It allows me to navigate life with focus and confidence.

Getting here took time, patience, and a lot of self-reflection. Looking back, I can see how every small step moved me forward, even when I didn’t realize it at the time. It only became clear once I was in a stronger place mentally and emotionally.

Now, I recognize the small things that truly bring me joy and wish I had appreciated them sooner. Looking back, there were a few things that really helped me get here, and I’d love to share them. They’re simple, anyone can try them, and with consistency, the benefits start to show.

1. Limiting Social Media

People always talk about cutting back on social media, but I never grasped its real impact until I stepped away myself. I was on everything– Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, LinkedIn. These apps advertise connection, but instead, they pulled me away from my own life.

At first, I didn’t notice, but over time, casual scrolling turned into constant comparison and over time, little things added up, and I found myself wanting a different life instead of appreciating my own.  I wasn’t using social media to connect with people. I was using it to compare myself to others. Once I acknowledged these feeling I started to slowly remove myself from different apps and eventually I was off them all.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about giving social media another shot. When BlueSky first launched, I downloaded it, and honestly, it was pretty cool. My feed was full of art, interesting posts, and actual people. It wasn’t just bots or influencers with massive followings. For a while, it felt like it had real potential, butt then, as more people migrated from other platforms, the vibe started to change. My feed became crowded with new users, but the posts just weren’t as fun anymore. It felt like every other social media site, so I ended up deleting it too.

These days, I don’t let social media shape how I see the world– or myself. I’m done comparing my life to the filtered versions people post online. I don’t need a constant stream of opinions flooding my mind and pulling me away from my own thoughts and feelings. It was draining, and at some point, I just knew stepping away was the best thing I could do for my mental health and overall happiness.

2. Quitting Alcohol

This August marks three years since I quit drinking. I never realized how much of a habit it had become. What started as the occasional drink slowly turned into four to six glasses of bourbon or gin every night. It was draining my energy and, honestly, my life. My husband encouraged me to take a break for a few days, and I quickly realized how challenging it was. I could barely make it past two days without reaching for another drink.

One day, I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person staring back. I didn’t feel like myself, so I started avoiding looking at myself. I wasn’t happy and I knew I needed to make a change. I promised myself, ‘Just for today, I won’t drink.’ The next day, I made the same promise. And then the next. Slowly, one day turned into another, then a week, then a month.

Now, I wake up with more energy, save money, and actually have time for things I used to waste on drinking—or recovering from a hangover. I no longer feel pressured to stay at social events longer than I want just because alcohol is around, and most people are totally fine with that. Quitting drinking helped me set boundaries and focus on what actually makes me feel good. It’s given me a more balanced life where I can prioritize what really matters to me— my comfort, well-being, and peace of mind.

3. Spending Time Outdoors

I used to hate being outside. The mosquitoes, the heavy humidity, the scorching summers– it all just made it miserable. Even the mild winters felt damp and uninviting. No matter the season, it never seemed worth the effort, so I just stayed inside most of the time.

Still, I finally decided to make an effort to spend more time outside, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day. I set up a box fan, some chairs, and some shade on my porch, and most afternoons, I sit there with my dog (and sometimes my cat), just watching the world go by while they watch the people. I’m also trying to make daily walks a habit—or at least giving it a shot. I used to dread it, but now it feels like a simple little break in my day, and honestly, I kind of enjoy it.

Another reason I avoided being outside was the nonstop traffic in my busy area. For a long time, walking outside just felt overwhelming. The sidewalk runs right along a four-lane street, and the constant rush of cars put me on edge. At first, I couldn’t tune out the noise, but over time, I started noticing other things. I recognized which houses had dogs or the neighbors who always waved from their porches. Little by little, I got more comfortable. Instead of fixating on what annoyed me, I started appreciating the fresh air, the open sky, and the simple things I used to overlook. Now, stepping outside feels like a reminder to slow down and enjoy the small moments—the birds chirping, the warmth of the sun, and those rare, quiet pauses.

Bonus: Finding an In-Person Community

I know I said three, but I have to add one more: finding an in-person community. It doesn’t have to be a big group; even just one person you enjoy seeing regularly can make a huge difference.

For years, I struggled to make friends and had no idea where to start. Then I realized I didn’t have to force it. I just needed to look in places I already spent time, somewhere that felt natural.

I started at the gym with a simple ‘hello’ to someone I saw all the time. Over time, that small greeting turned into real conversations. Now, we occasionally text outside the gym, but most of our connection happens there. And honestly, it’s something I look forward to. No pressure, just a familiar face that makes my day a little better.

Final Thoughts

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that small changes make a big difference. Happiness isn’t found in an object or posession, it’s about enjoying the little things. I hope you take time for yourself, focus on what brings you joy, and appreciate the simple moments.

If you’d like to share, what small moments have you realized make you happy?

—Tots